Category: my thoughts on

By David G. Firestone

Sunoco is the official fuel of NASCAR, IndyCar and the NHRA. They’ve started doing a series of commercials based of perfume commercials. The perfume is called “Burnt Rubber” with a bit of a French accent to it. The website, Essence of Racing shows commercials and quotes about Burnt Rubber.

It’s meant to be a joke, but can I ask a real question? Why are perfume and cologne commercials so messed up? Is there some law stating that perfume commercials need to have needless symbolism, and artsy camera angles? Take this example, from a Chanel commercial. What in the world does any of this have to do with cologne? One commercial that I have grown to loath is this White Diamonds ad that I must have seen a million times in the 1990’s. Watch both of them, and then ask yourself the following question: This makes me want to buy this perfume…WHY?

A commercial should tell you that is is our product, and this is why you should buy it. Why would Elizabeth Taylor walking into a high stakes card game in the 1950’s make me want to buy perfume? Why would a series of nonsensical, non-connected scenes make me want to buy cologne? Most importantly, why would you make a commercial where the actors AREN’T USING THE PRODUCT? At the very least, imply that your product is being used in the commercial! Watch the Liz Taylor commercial again, and tell me specifically, where it is implied that she, or anyone else in the commercial is using White Diamonds?

Could you imagine if other products were advertised like that? Imagine if you made a commercial for Coca Cola, Nike, McDonald’s, Ford, or PS4 and you don’t show the product, and don’t imply the product is being used? You would be fired, and laughed out of the industry! This hearkens back to BASF commercials, but more on that later.

I’m not sophisticated, I freely admit that. Anyone who wants to call me out by saying stuff like “you’re not sophisticated, you don’t understand…” can just shut it. I’m sick of nonsensical advertising for perfume. What scares me is that I’ve done focus groups for commercials, and every second of the 30 second commercial is studied, talked over, looked over, and not left to chance. So what that tells me is that one of two things is happening. Either these commercials are produced in-house, and given no review at all, or people are having focus groups on these, and deciding that they like them.

I mentioned BASF because their commercials in the 1990’s were even worse. Watch one here, and ask yourself this question:Based on this commercial, what does BASF do as a company? The commercial gives no information other that “We don’t make the ______,we make it _____, We don’t make a lot of the products you buy, we make a lot of the products you buy better. BASF, The spirit of innovation” That doesn’t tell me anything. I saw an updated on that ended with “BASF, The Chemical Company.” OK, now that makes sense. Is there any reason it took 20 years to add those 3 words to the commercial and make it make sense? Remember, these came out before we had access to the internet and Google, so finding this information out was much harder.

The bottom line is: advertising shouldn’t be this difficult. Tell me what your product is, and why I should buy it. Don’t over complicate commercials to the point of absurdity for the sake of artistry!

By David G. Firestone

It went unnoticed by many people, but at the French Open a few weeks ago, a fan jumped a barrier and ran up to Roger Federer and asked to take a selfie on the court. This obvious breach of security brings back to mind the stabbing of Monica Seles by Günter Parche in Hamburg, Germany in 1993. In both instances there was little security intervention until it was too late. While Günter Parche was a whack job, this kid created a breach of security to take a picture

With the rise of smart phones came the rise of selfies. I don’t understand this at all. This is a picture of myself, look at me! It’s just irritating. With the rise of Facebook came the rise of selfies on the internet. With this rise came the way people want to out do each other with selfies. You’ve had cases where people have shot themselves in the head, fallen of cliffs, gotten arrested, and imprisoned for trying to take selfies. IT’S NOT WORTH IT!

I get taking selfies when they are worth it, like if you are visiting somewhere significant. If you go to a concert, museum, or sporting event, and want to take a selfie and share it, I’m fine with that. If you are going out to dinner with a friend or relative you haven’t seen in a long time and want to take a selfie, that’s fine. If, on the other hand, you take seflies in line at the grocery store, or at the bus stop, then you are an idiot.

I work at a retail store, and I see this shit all the time. Why would you want to take a status while buying eggs and toilet paper? It just annoys me to no end. I hate having to deal with this kind of nonsense. There is no reason to take selfies at a store, none whatsoever. One of the reasons, I don’t go on Facebook all that much is because there are too many selfies.

The sad thing is that now, because selfies are a thing, they are only going to get bigger. I can’t see selfies going away in the foreseeable future. I can only hope they will go away, as I am getting sick of them. I don’t take them unless there is a reason for it anymore. I wish they would just go away and never come back.

By David G. Firestone

I’m going to say something that I guarantee will tick people off, but I don’t care. I’ve put up with this for quite some time, and I’m sick of it. I HATE the craft beer market. Yup, I said it, I hate the craft beer marker. “But Dave,” I can hear you saying, “You are a sports uniform blogger! You have to like it!” First off, no I don’t, second off, it has given birth to beer snobs. You know the kind of people I’m talking about. They only drink craft beer. They have their favorite beer, and if you don’t like that kind, you are an imbecile and a philistine.

That isn’t what beer is supposed to be! Beer is supposed to UNITE us, not divide us! The pilgrims got off the Mayflower to make a beer run! Many great leaders not only drank beer, but brewed beer. The neighborhood tavern was and is the place for people to get together after work, have a few beers, forget about the problems of life for a little while, and have a good time. The classic neighborhood get together, especially the ones in my neighborhood, always have to have beer, and there is always a lot of fun at them.

I hate the craft beer market because it took everything beer really is supposed to be, and ruined it. What I would like to say to the beer snobs is that nobody likes that attitude. I call it Lisa Simpson Syndrome. Lisa Simpson has a high IQ, is a talented musician, and is a vegetarian and as a result she thinks that it makes her better than most of the people. The problem is that this attitude makes her come across as snobby and stuck up, when she is a very likeable person. If you accept the fact that everyone has their favorite kind of beer, and they like theirs as much as you like yours, I would have no problem with the craft beer market. If there were no snobs, I would embrace the craft beer market, but due to the snobs, I can’t stand the craft beer market.

By David G. Firestone

I’m going to say something that I guarantee will tick people off, but I don’t care. I’ve put up with this for quite some time, and I’m sick of it. I HATE the craft beer market. Yup, I said it, I hate the craft beer marker. “But Dave,” I can hear you saying, “You are a sports uniform blogger! You have to like it!” First off, no I don’t, second off, it has given birth to beer snobs. You know the kind of people I’m talking about. They only drink craft beer. They have their favorite beer, and if you don’t like that kind, you are an imbecile and a philistine.

That isn’t what beer is supposed to be! Beer is supposed to UNITE us, not divide us! The pilgrims got off the Mayflower to make a beer run! Many great leaders not only drank beer, but brewed beer. The neighborhood tavern was and is the place for people to get together after work, have a few beers, forget about the problems of life for a little while, and have a good time. The classic neighborhood get together, especially the ones in my neighborhood, always have to have beer, and there is always a lot of fun at them.

I hate the craft beer market because it took everything beer really is supposed to be, and ruined it. What I would like to say to the beer snobs is that nobody likes that attitude. I call it Lisa Simpson Syndrome. Lisa Simpson has a high IQ, is a talented musician, and is a vegetarian and as a result she thinks that it makes her better than most of the people. The problem is that this attitude makes her come across as snobby and stuck up, when she is a very likeable person. If you accept the fact that everyone has their favorite kind of beer, and they like theirs as much as you like yours, I would have no problem with the craft beer market. If there were no snobs, I would embrace the craft beer market, but due to the snobs, I can’t stand the craft beer market.