The Driver Suit Blog-My Thoughts On The Village, and an Announcement For Next Week

By David G. Firestone

Last night, I decided to cleanse my palette, and after the Denso Spark Plug Nationals, I decided to watch The Village. For those who don’t know, The Village was released in 2004, and was directed by M. Night Shyamalan. It stars Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sigourney Weaver, and William Hurt.

The premise of the movie is that a group of people live in a small village. A group of oil lanterns and guard towers keep watch for creatures. Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix) wants to visit other towns for medical supplies. Ivy Elizabeth Walker (Bryce Dallas Howard) the blind daughter of an elder, falls in love with Lucius, and they arrange to be married. After Lucius gets stabbed, Ivy braves the forest to get medicine. She then discovers that they live in modern times, the creatures are elders in costume, and she gets the medicine and returns. The village was created by Ivy’s father and the rest of the elders, all of whom have been the victims of horrible crimes, and they wanted to create the perfect society. The elders keep memories of the horrible things they went through in big black boxes in their home.

This could have been so much better, but the story was thin, the writing was awful, and the acting was horrible! How could a movie with this much acting talent have some of the worst acting I have ever seen? I LOVE Bryce Dallas Howard as an actress, but her performance as Ivy was a role that she should have never agreed to. Her dialog was horrible as well. This is one of her lines while discussing her upcoming marriage, I swear I’m not making this us “When we are married, will you dance with me? I find dancing very agreeable.” What the hell? Agreeable? Nobody in recorded history has ever said “I find dancing very agreeable.” That was the worst line in the movie, but it had a lot of competition.

This is why people hate M. Night Shyamalan. First off, the twist wasn’t worth the wait. Second, the story itself was weak in respect to the twist. This could have been avoided with some better writing. Third, the elders keep black boxes in their house, IN PLAIN SIGHT, which have evidence of things the elders have gone through. Yet for some unknown reason, none of the children have gone through any of the boxes. Fourth, this group lives in modern times, and has enough money to pay to have a no-fly zone over their village. This is why there are no airplanes flying overhead. For all the reasons above, I thought that this wasn’t a serious movie…but it was. It was not a good movie.

Also, I’m making a change for next week. Since Monday is the first night of Passover, I will be attending a Seder. Since I do all my work for the week on Monday, I’ve made the executive decision that for next week, there will be no My Thoughts On, Paint Scheme Tracker, or Grades. I will resume normal programming a week from this Monday, and I will see you then.

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