By David G. Firestone
I’m not going to talk about what happened in Parkland, Florida this week. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I’m not going to talk news, or politics on The Driver Suit Blog. I don’t like writing about it, nobody wants to read it, so I’m going to do my normal article.
Yesterday, I watched the Daytona 500. The race was great, as Daytona races are. As a Dale Earnhardt Sr. fan, it was nice that 20 years after Dale piloted the #3 to his only Daytona 500 victory, Austin Dillon won in the #3. I also watched the Xfinity Series and the Truck series this weekend. NASCAR is back at Atlanta and the NHRA is at Arizona. I’m also waiting for Formula 1 and IndyCar to start, which they will do in March.
I recently discovered something, and for the life of me, I can’t understand it. When did Funko Pop figures become a thing? Why are Funko Pop figures a thing? I don’t go to toy stores, I don’t pay attention to many things besides racing memorabilia, so I tend to miss these things. I don’t get why these things are popular. They look strange, they don’t appear to be pose-able, they are expensive, and they make scary characters, such as a Xenomorph, and Pennywise.
Toys for children make sense. Toys for adult collectors make no sense. Let’s make a toy that you can’t play with, and you can’t even take out of the box, and sell it for more than a parent would ever pay for a child’s toy. How is this profitable? Apparently it is profitable, but I still don’t get it.
Lastly, while I’m not a die hard basketball fan, I did watch and enjoy the NBA All-Star Game, with the exception of the National Anthem. Fergie sang an awful rendition, complete with odd hand gestures, questionable pitch changes, and odd dancing. To paraphrase someone on Twitter, it sounded like a drunk aunt singing at a backyard cookout. As soon as she finished, she then took the opportunity to awkwardly shout “Let’s play some basketball!” which just made things more uncomfortable for everyone.
While many say she sang the worst rendition in history, I wholeheartedly disagree. Christina Aguilera sang a bad version at the Super Bowl a few years ago. John Michael Montgomery and Scott Stapp both had bad renditions, however John Michael Montgomery can be forgiven, since at the time, he was suffering from acoustic neuroma, an inner ear nerve condition. Track star Carl Lewis, whose ego stretches from sea to shining sea sang a horrific version. One of the oddest versions was Madison Rising’s rendition at the 2014 DRIVE4COPD 300, which has to be heard to be believed. But the all-time worst was Roseanne Barr. While Roseanne was trolling the fans, Fergie was taking it seriously. So, to all singers…JUST SING THE ANTHEM, AND STOP GETTING CREATIVE. I’m David G. Firestone, and I approve this message.